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Well, as someone who likes to sit at home and pick his bum, how could I refuse? It gives me a bit more time to write the cookbook and ogle at our gardener. It did cause a slight moment of discomfiture when I realised I knew the name of the lady who had passed, but not her husband. Not knowing the name only became an issue when it came to sending a Deepest Sympathy card. Sympathy and human emotion is just too much hard work. I live in a very camp house.
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We've tried melting it down at the gym, but that involved sweating, so we quickly lost interest. When we went away for college, we tried charming the pants off women with our quick wit and short stories, but we ended up in the friend zone more often than not. Then happened. All of a sudden chicks were coming up to us and saying, "Oh my god, you look like the guy from The Hangover. Zach Galifianakis broke the glass ceiling for hip fat dudes from Brooklyn to Wynwood.
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